Sunday, 27 July 2014

What is Love?

Love. The biggest and scariest emotion in the whole entire world. A society built around the simplest of emotion. We live for it, we breathe it. It's the most powerful emotion, over everything. It's sung about, written about, people die for it, it surrounds our world and courses through our veins as humans. But what is it? I've been asked this many times. What is love? How do you know when you're in love? Is there any particular feeling? When do you know that you are in love?

Love isn't something you can define. It isn't a perfectly worded answer in the dictionary, scripted to make you understand what the meaning is - in completion. 
Everyone's definition or understanding of this feeling is completely different. 

I asked one of my friends what they thought love was, and this was the answer I got. "Love is something that takes you by surprise. It's not something you can make yourself feel. Love is something that makes you feel an indescribable feeling. It's not like loving chocolates or loving a dress. You only love that temporarily. It brings everlasting joy."

And this is my definition.

I don't actually believe that love is that deep. I think that it's a simple emotion, a very beautiful and selfless one. I think that it's the humans and the circumstances that make this emotion complicated, prejudiced and difficult. I'm not a human that is going to glorify love. Every book or movie I have watched portrays the same acceptance speech of love, that it is endless and that they love everything about that person. But that's not real.

Real love is work. After being with someone for the longest of times, you start to catch their flaws. It's work, and it's hard. Love to me isn't always talking every day or them accepting you. They are parts of it, but love isn't a choice. It's when you're yelling at the tops of your lungs and they yell back at you to remind you of who you are, and that you aren't always right. It's the electric-ness you feel when you see their eyes light up when they are talking about what makes them happy, their passion. Listening to stupid theories of the universe, or mindless banter. 

"A realistic relationship is when two people, accept each other's past, support each other's present, and love each other enough to encourage each other's future. So don't rush love. Find a partner who encourages you to grow, who won't cling to you, who will let you go out into the world, and trust that you will come back. This is what true love is about."

I am a teenager and I don't know the definition. I shouldn't have to. This boy I used to know, although we never talk anymore, said to me something that I will never forget. 
"I think you're wrong about us being young. I think that young people have the best minds. Old people may be smarter and well educated but a new set of eyes will always think of things that scholars and the wisest old people in the world will never understand."

Love is saying all the wrong things at all the wrong moments. It's spilling your feelings at 4am when you should be asleep. It's being honest when it hurts. Love isn't a routine, isn't easy. It's singing at the top of your lungs. Even when you are at your lowest point, they still appreciate you, understand and are there. 
Love doesn't need to be glorified. It's not like any story you have ever read. It's your own personal experience, depending on the person that you are in love with. Love is a process in which you fall in love with them, it isn't a switch - that is why it is called falling. It doesn't have to be the most poetic shit, that they will love you endlessly and completely. You should do that yourself. Love yourself first. You are a full person, not a person that is looking to be completed. Because if that person leaves, decides that you are an expiry date. If one day they decide that they don't need you anymore, then what are you going to do? We accept the love we think we deserve. 

I don't think that you can love someone until you have seen every aspect of them. Until you have seen them when they have only had three hours of sleep because they were out late last night, and are snappy at you for no reason, or when they are breaking to the point of sadness. You only love someone when you can accept the good and bad parts of them, and you still choose them. I don't think you can love someone until you go through a lot of difficult things with them and still try to make it work. Because you love them enough to. When you experience new things with them.

Everyone's experience of love is different, but it's easily the best and worst feeling you will ever experience.

Be honest about how you feel about people while you're alive.


“Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get — only with what you are expecting to give — which is everything.”

"Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby — awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess."


from indy x