I’ve had a wake up call. In some ways this holidays has been my healing. I haven’t done everything I wanted to do, a lot less than; but I realised some key things in my life that being an immature 15 year old, I didn’t lower my laptop screen to see. I’ve been extremely happy lately, built strong foundations of friendships – people that I really care about. I think that this New Year is going to bring such a good aspect on the way I see life.
When emailing a friend, I wrote at the end of my general ‘love Indy’
Wishing you a happy New Year and may you prosper in this 365 blank journal filled with blank ruled pages.
I like to think that in some weird little ways I have a realistic grasp on life that I can share with you all, in ways of advice and things that make you smile. I spend hours each post editing the crap out of them so to actually know what I’m going on and on about. I can't explain my mind. It's very thunderstorm like and it likes to weave itself around many different courses of thoughts, like a web tangled up.
I know that I have done a bit about exclusion - but if you know me, Indy then you will know that my blog posts are all over the place. But you know what? There's only so much emotional baggage that a human can carry. No matter who you are and what others have been through and who you are trying to support, you need to have time for yourself. I know how it feels when someone's gone and nobody will ever understand how much it hurts.
"You wish you could have all the fights back just so that you can have the good. And when it was over and when it was gone I felt hopeless like nothing could save me."
As white girl tumblr dramatic as this sounds, you're a human and this is what life is about, learning from your downfall. Seriously, I'm not even going to get into the relevance of how you're feeling.
Heartbreak is the most awful feeling to ever feel. It physically feels like someone has cut out your heart and decided to stomp on it. But however much it hurts ~ time heals all wounds. But it still leaves scars for the memories and reminders of what you had. I think it's good because at one point you know that you have given everything you can possibly give and if that's not enough then what are you supposed to give?
Your skin - so your insides can spill out? I don't think so. There comes a point when however much you love somebody, maybe they need to stop to think instead of pulling apart the things you do too wrong, they should stop and think about the type of person they are. Sometimes it's not you, its them and their asshole ways.
I know that sugar coating crap "it will be ok blah blah blah I'm here" But it's just that they don't know what to say and they judge because they don't understand. But let's get one thing straight. You will NOT be empty. It will sure as hell feel that way and I know you might have given a piece of yourself you know they could break. But you are a whole person; kidneys, lungs, emotion. ALL the things that make you YOU and no boy/girl should ever make you feel like you are incomplete without them.
I actually drew this. ^