Sunday, 28 August 2016

Outfit Of The Day

Fashion week is all about designers coming together to showcase their ability and clothing line for the upcoming season. For me, fashion week is an excuse to dress how I want and get away with it. I didn't get too many photos this year, but I got street style pics taken of me by the wonderful Holly Burgess and Sam Lee. 

What I am wearing:

Zambesi Ringside Jacket

A simple grey dress from ASOS I believe. You can literally get any basic grey/white/black dress and style it with a trendy trench coat!

Alexander McQueen handbag

Shoes from Liberty's - again any pair of high heeled boots will do to complete this look.

I also decided do my hair in three sectioned corn rows.

Saturday, 23 July 2016


I decided to put up something that wasn’t perfect. My random not so deep thoughts, typed out as I thought them. Sometimes ‘carefully thought out material and posts edited to the very core’ isn’t the new black.

I got a new laptop today. I’ve had the same old rickety one for about six years, and everyone in modern life will know that is like a KILLER PERFORMANCE (life span) for a computer. 

I kind of like having a blog that I can ramble to no one in particular. How great is it that in thirty years  - if we are still using the internet and not some weird hologram thing - I can look back at my 15/16/17 y/o thoughts? Powerful. 

I’ve been missing in action for a couple weeks. Not on youtube, but more so having a routine. I have been off school for three weeks. Bliss. But I haven’t really been holiday-ing too much. Long story.

It’s been hard to look at the news each day.. I have become scared at what I will read. Each day there is a life lost, for some reason I don’t even understand. I’m trying to be numb. Anyway.

I went to the flume concert last night. It was very weird being in a mosh pit. Flume gives you that kind of youthy, ecstatic feeling, like nothing matters except for tonight. Well it gives me that feeling. I don’t really know the point of this post, I just wanted to put something out there. Carrie (Bradshaw) got me thinking about relationships in some type of way. After being in a relationship with someone for a year at seventeen, it really changes you. This year I’m facing final exams, university????, decisions for career choices, and a lot of other normal teenage things and not so normal. 

I’ve been doing this thing each day (most days) where I don’t check my phone immediately when I wake up. I like it because it gives me a little bit of time to wake up from the hazy morning feeling without being thrown into deep sea real life. Checking all my emails, scrolling and typing is all I seem to be doing these days. That’s why I’m creating some me time.

That is one thing that will last. ^
I always sporadically take up these mantras in my life, habits that I think I will be consistent with. Diets, journal writing, meditation. But you can’t force yourself to be a type of way. But then again, that’s probably why my brain is so all over the place - judging by this post.

I mean I am on my phone a lot, a little too much for my liking and I feel like I miss out on a lot of things. Haha, thats where I get confused about the Pokemon go game. I mean it gets people outside and all that but then again, what are they doing - staring down at their phones? I can’t talk. I don’t play the game personally, but I’m on my phone a hell of a lot. Social media isn’t real life and it doesn’t really do much to further my life but I grew up in a generation with ever present technology that adapts and continues to advance before my very eyes. Therefore I’m not going to feel bad if I use it.

Three things I am excited about.
  1. Getting my first apartment and decorating it the way I want.
  2. Having a job I love.
  3. Going to Pompeii to see ancient ruins (because I am a classics nerd) and New York.

All things to look forward to, when I’m older and more composed. Or now. Who knows?

PS: Growing up is hard to do.

Monday, 13 June 2016

15 TV shows & movies to binge watch over winter

1. Sex and the City is a must. All 6 seasons. Cosmopolitans and four 30-something-girls looking for love together in New York, what more could you ask for?

2. Full House, for me was one of the best shows I ever watched growing up. When I say growing up, I mean from 15 - currently. And who can resist a lil bit of Uncle Jesse


3. One of the funniest movies that I have seen lately is Neighbours 2: Sorority Rising. Filled to the brim with the best actors/actresses such as Chloe Moretz, Seth Rogen, Rose Byrne, Dave Franco AND Zac Efron.. yep enough said.

What was I just saying about Zac Efron?? I forgot, looking at this photo.

4. Pretty in Pink is the most beautiful 80's film to date. Apart from like 4 others... as I am kinda obsessed with 80's movies. Be prepared to see a little more in this list! But trust me they won't disappoint.

Andrew McCarthy and Molly Ringwald are icons of 80's movies. In my opinion, two of the best young actors at this time.

                                                         This girl has killer fashion.

5. 90210 is what will keep you up all night, every night. Warning: do NOT start during exams.

6. Friends is OBVIOUSLY the best TV show of all time.

It's kind of like committing some heinous unspoken crime if you haven't watched Friends before.

7. Any Harry Potter movie. What is better than cuddling up on a weekend and binge watching as many HP wonders as you can? = my childhood. 

8. The Truman Show was a movie that really tripped me out. The concept is just some unheard of, it made me think so many times that in fact my life was that way. Hope not. I didn't know this but apparently you can visit the massive set/town of Seahaven!

9. I feel like Love Actually is a movie that is always necessary to watch. Last year I sat down with my family and my best friend on Christmas eve and we all watched this film. It was the first time we had seen the film together, but separately I had seen it enough to mouth most of the words. 

10. I don't know how this movie did in terms of ratings or the box office but I really loved this little joy! It featured Taylor Lautner and Lily Collins and it's such a classic teenage love story mixed with spies, assassins and action. Personal rating?? 7.5/10.

Movie: Abducted. Its available on Netflix!

11. This movie is one of the most visually appealing films I have ever seen. Starring the beautiful Brooke Shields in her prime, you will fall in love with it like I did. That's all I can say. You just gotta watch it. Keep in mind watch the original not the weirdo re-runs.

Just keep the fact that they are cousins OUT of your head, oh dear.

12. Zoolander 2 is hilarious. You gotta watch both to really get the cliche, silly humour but its really really wonderful. And I mean, I don't think anyone could match Blue Steel - no matter how hard they try.

13.  The Help made me feel a lot of emotions I didn't think I could feel with films. Anger, sadness, frustration. 20/10. 

14. The most addictive show that I have probably ever watched, is.... gossip girl. I never really understood how 15 year olds could go to bars and cause heinous problems and be driven around in limos, but I guess that's the Upper East Side for you?

This has to go on your bucket list to watch before you die.




- and none for Gretchen Weiners.

Indy x

Friday, 10 June 2016

REALationships and all that shit #feelingmyself

Bubbling, bubbling, bubbling.

Note: Best to sit down with a cup of tea/your favourite snack and let this sink in.


So, after watching seasons on seasons of Sex and the City, I got to thinking about relationships and connections. Squiggly pathways and this peculiar thing we call love.
Being seventeen going on eighteen (yessiree I'm sooo channeling Leisl from The Sound of Music) I realised that I am beginning something intense that I will experience forever. A connection with someone. Myself. Also, maybe with a lot of someone's in my life. Each person that I meet and fall in love with - will forever carry a part of me that I etched into them.

Now, here's the real shit. Our world today revolves around love. Songs, movies, books, short films. Humans want to be loved and accepted. That's the way it has been since the beginning of time. A yearning to have an unbreakable bond with someone. And believe me, being seventeen doesn't change the fact that I feel that yearning.

But what it took me a long time to understand was that I needed to build a relationship with myself first.

Let me ask you this. In this bustling, bustling world - where everyone is always rushing to get to their jobs, to get to appointments, and to get to the next steps in their life, do we ever really get time to look at ourselves and reflect? Do we ever get to acknowledge/appreciate the weird little traits about ourselves? For instance:

1. I love avocados.
2. I have a tendency to drink juice with a spoon.
3. I care deeply about the special people in my life.
4. I will never stop fighting for a career that I want. A career that challenges me. work on this part.
5. I have a very selective and interesting memory. Dates, songs, life-changing memories are things that I will never forget.

It took me a long time to be able to answer that question. I knew that there were some considerable parts about myself that I liked... but I became so caught up in being some else. Someone that did everything to please others, that began to stoop as low as believe the negativity of others. I repeatedly thought that me in all my craziness wasn't enough. I stopped believing. In myself. I MEAN WTF?

After feeling like I was so over this 'doom and gloom' attitude, after weeks of exams, and listening to people trying to decipher my future, I had had enough. There was a buzzing in me. I felt like I needed to start pursuing passions of mine. For me, that was the only way I could truly live. ACTING, writing, starting up a youtube. I felt this manifestation of art, thoughts and mischievous comments that I needed to explore. Believe me when I say, when you listen to what you need and what you want,  your life will change. Drastically. 


You gotta realise how important your life is. Off days happen. Yes, sometimes you can feel like shit. Because maybe, someone rejected you or someone said something about you behind your back - but that's fucking life. Get off your phone, as social media isn't the most fulfilling thing (whilst it can be a useful tool). Fill yourself up with knowledge. Read. Travel. Laugh. It's time to stop the what if's and I can't do this. Blah blah blah. Life is just too short.

For once in my life, I got lost in myself and my internal conversations. 
So, I walked around my city. I breathed in the muggy air that 3pm produced. I bought myself a coffee. I dressed up for myself that day, knee high socks with a lip colour to shock. Not forgetting the trench coat or my PINK addidas superstars, thank you very much. I spent a day planning next steps for my career. 

There is a magic in loving yourself. 
NO matter who you are, or what you do - when you begin to realise that you have so many things going for you,
 a mind that whirs like a never ending clock, 
a body that heals itself just for YOU 
a smile that will make someone's stomach go tingly -
then you might begin to fine tune to this reality. Of beginning to recognise you and all your awesomeness

Looking in the mirror at your reflection won't do it. Your body is the shell of your soul. 
Take pleasure in enriching yourself. You have the power to experience what this world has to offer. 

This life is great. The colours will shock you, the emotions can flood you. Some days you will not want to get out of bed, many days that can be me when its 6am, and all I want to do is sleep through the seasons.


As a young, somewhat well known gal-pal living in this crazy world, I leave myself no choice but to go & work my ass off to get to where I want to be, to challenge myself, and most importantly, 
to love myself.

PS. I'm back with the blogging thing. My posts will not be always this preachy, but I just felt like someone needed to address the elephant in the room. Get up and get shaking, and laughing and working. Once or thrice a week, I will be posting little interesting things. My favourite makeup, updating you on what is about to happen in my life, outings, goals and aspirations. Music. Gossip etc. Stay tuned. Here, I leave you with my favourite song at the moment and a sappy mantra quote of mine.

Apply your own REALationship. Go a week with these positive thoughts. Be open to spontaneity and experience. It's okay to go alone sometimes. You've got this. 
You can thank me later.

Indy, the dancing queen. x

Tuesday, 20 October 2015


For the past year or so, I've been thinking about what to say.

In the space of a year, I have changed immeasurably as a person. Moments and experiences catapulted at me to make me grow as a sixteen year old, and to learn to put myself first. I learnt things that will probably stay with me for a lifetime and then some. That's the difference when you're growing out of your awkward teenagery boots into adult heels. You feel everything, sometimes new & raw emotions that you cannot possibly begin to explain. Looking at the world and breathing it all in, and then some days you feel full of emotions that you can't begin how to know how to handle.

I've been thinking hard and long about how I wanted to come across on this blog - whether I wanted to keep it simple or be wordy, earthy and rambly. I think that I outgrew the old style of this blog and the whole 'trying to fix the world at 15.' We've all been through a patch as a teenager where we felt quite lost and didn't know how to let our voices out - as us. There are always expectations to be someone in this society. We are always so busy filling up our lives with memories, relationships, jobs, meaning and more moments that we forget to look at the bigger picture and realise that we have one shot.

Growing up and finding yourself is definitely a challenge. Here are some things that I have realised for myself, that at some point I wish someone could have told me. In life you have to learn for yourself, these are those things:

The thing about this vast tip is that it is actually very difficult. Trying to fit in, and not being accepted is truly the worst. But you know what?? Who actually cares? There's going to come a time when you realise you don't have to necessarily fit into a certain category. High school is demanding in that sense that there are cliques and groups and sometimes when you don't fit into one of them you can feel left out, and rejected. After high school, the bubble will have burst and you will realise that going off and doing your own thing means that there is more to life than just fitting in, even though your teenage heart says otherwise.
Why waste your time pretending to like certain things, or lying about something very real about you? The thing is people genuinely appreciate when you can come raw and clean, giving off the 'actually this is me and if you don't like it, that is not my problem' attitude.

I know that it is hard for some people to feel happy and confident unless they belong to a group of friends, or even just to one person but a little leap of confidence in being individual can be that extra boost in feeling ultra ace. There is around 7 billion people - and none of them are you! Isn't that radical? You're worth more than you feel.

One thing that I learnt the hard way was realising that there is a repetitive cycle of attracting the wrong kind of people. When you are a person that wants to help out and fix other peoples' problems, some creature-people can take this aspect of you for granted and leech onto your light, trying to drag you down with them. It's not always intentional, but when people are hurt and sad, they try to cast the burden onto you, to transfer their pain. Most people depend on others to gain happiness but in reality happiness should be found within you. Being tolerant and nice is one thing, but choosing to put yourself in a repetitive, negative situation where you come out feeling miserable, is no fun at all. The easiest way to do this is to surround yourself with motivated people, who know where they want to go. People that don't come with expectations of you, or are only there when you are successful. Sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is to cut yourself off from someone who brings you down. It's as simple as that. It's your right to do so - it doesn't mean you love them any less, it just means that you shouldn't have to feel miserable in the process.

Before you tell yourself 'I can't do this' or 'There's no point - it isn't going to work anyway', stop and think for a second. This may sound 100% lame but you should try to believe in yourself. After all, no one can do it better than you. Your life clock is already ticking away, and one day you are going to wish you had believed in yourself and given yourself a chance sooner. Why should you cut yourself short from the talents that are inside you? Just because you have failed at something before, it doesn't mean you should stop right away and give up. The greatest people only achieved greatness through constant trial and error until they found a solution.

This is one thing that I cannot stress enough. In the simplest way, if someone that you put effort and time into on a daily basis makes you feel less in any way then you have every right in the world to walk away. You have every right to cut off a toxic person from your life. You can shut down relationships with people that make you feel bad about who you are or what you believe in. People you surround yourself with aren't supposed to make you feel bad but should help build you up. Also, anyone you date should make you feel like you are special. If you feel worse when you are around them, or they find excuses to belittle you or change you, DITCH EM'. The whole idea of being with somebody is to bring out the good in each other and simply be there for each other and make each other happy. It's simple really. You don't have to stick with someone in a relationship if they control you, make you feel like shit, or just inflict any pain on you in any way at all. You have the right to be happy. People that you surround yourself with should lift you up and make you feel alive.

Loss is always going to happen. Just like rain is going to fall, or your nail polish is going to chip, or mud sticks between your toes. You know when you're a teenager and you feel every emotion under the sun? Or when you finally fall in love and realise it's real for the first time and you don't want to lose them? Sometimes when relationships come to an end it feels like the whole world is closing in on us, as we can't imagine being without that person and we don't want to realise that the memories shared with these special people, might begin to become just memories. Know that it's okay to feel these emotions, feeling pain is just a part of life that makes us understand the value of relationships and connections. Remember, you don't always have to get on with it immediately. Pain is pain, and people deal with it in different ways. If you need time to get over someone and to spend time being alone that is okay. You don't have to fling yourself on the rebound train just because you want to feel loved again. Relationships are about finding what you need/deserve, and sometimes it is important to experience the end of relationships so that you can learn things from them. NO relationship is a waste of time, if you were treated badly - then at least you know that you don't deserve that kind of b.s. Also, the best things are born out of heartbreak. Most songs that are about heartbreak have so much depth and meaning behind them - so if you have just recently ended a relationship with someone and want to wallow in it, get into a comfy outfit, buy a carton of ice cream and pump those heartbreak beats.

Making that change from a teenager to an adult is a big deal. In those three to five years, your life will change drastically. The most important thing that I have found, having lived on this earth for a mere sixteen years is the importance of family. Family know you better than you know yourself, that is where the essence of unconditional love comes from. Sisters and brothers are the BEST thing ever... and even if they annoy the living daylights out of you, when you are older you will realise that they are your best friends and their daily teasings of you actually might have kept you grounded. Also it rocks having older sisters as I have access to a free wardrobe 24/7. My parents work hard everyday, in every aspect of their lives to make my life better - and it is because they love me. A very important thing to understand is that as a teenager you are not entitled to anything from your parents. Your parents don't have to buy you a car, or pay for your schooling. They do this because they love you and choose to help you prosper and grow. Of course there is a role that they must play as parents, but learning to be grateful for the blessings in your life is something that will benefit you in the long run. Having parents that love and support you is a rare thing. I have learnt not to expect things, as it is not my right but my privilege.

If you don't have a relationship with your parents or family, friends can fill that gap. It is merely about who you can be yourself around, and have a reciprocal relationship with unconditional love towards each other. Relationships I find, bring more joy and meaning into my life.

Insecurity is a very real thing. In my life I have met some people that I considered flawless. Pure, intellectual and loving people. They admitted to me that they had been through periods of insecurity, and through my honey coated view of them I could not see how this was possible. This is why I think that you should give yourself a break. Calling yourself negative names, filling your head up with ugly words can be a real stab to your confidence. After all, you can't possibly step out of your body, so how can you call yourself ugly when you are smiling with happiness, or laughing at a lame joke someone made. If you're upset and shedding tears, or doing something as simple as vacumming where you are concentrating and don't have to be anyone else but you. How could you call those little moments ugly? Life is too short to look at yourself harshly, with no appreciation to your talents or judging yourself compared to someone else. At the end of the day you have to accept who you are because telling yourself things that you are not will do you nothing but harm. After all, being yourself is the prettiest that someone can be.

Tip: imagine yourself sitting on a couch with your seven year old self. The innocence is still fresh in your young self, and the excitement of life. Picture yourself telling this seven year old that they are ugly, and mean nothing. That they are fat, or have an annoying laugh. That they are going nowhere. Can you possibly say this to a seven year old, and watch them cry? It's the same thing, except you are older and telling yourself these things can do you nothing but harm. Give yourself a break.

From a young age, I have always worked hard for the things that I wanted. Even if they were little things, like getting a licence, or learning to drive, or getting my first paid job. Setting goals and working hard for yourself can never do you wrong, as it sets you up for understanding what the real world will be like when you leave high school. I am a sixteen year old teenager with a palette of colour-emotions; cerulean-sad, magenta-love, sunflower yellow-happy, wooden green calm. When I was first exposed to these raw emotions, I never knew how to place myself or handle certain scenarios. All people are different, but the basis of what is expected of someone to get where they want to be is to work hard. There is a refreshing feeling, almost overwhelming after you have achieved a goal. It's almost like you know that you can do it - that all this hard work has paid off to make you benefit from it.

Those are things that I wish someone had told me.
I x

Saturday, 4 October 2014

In Time

Time is a funny thing. Humans created it as a way of keeping track of our lives, so we were prompt and knew what we were doing. Seconds, minutes, hours, days, years, centuries, millenniums - all a human bred concept. We all hear that phrase every day almost, "I don't have enough time." Yes, you do actually. Time is the most important thing that you could ever give somebody. Parts of your life that you could never get back.

We live in the present; not the past or the future. What once was, will never be the same. That's the funny thing about time, it's always changing and growing - much like the person I want to be. Time can be selfish and greedy, taking things away from you when you didn't expect it. When we're asleep and our eyelids first flutter open, our world starts again. But in reality, it never stopped. We just gained consciousness, and were present in time, not just our bodies because our noisy minds needed a break from when we were awake.

I have realised, that time shouldn't be wasted. You can say to yourself, "I'll just do that another day." If you are capable of doing that thing you pushed aside, do it today. Do it before a list of things that you wish you had done comes piling up to your eyelids and you can't do it anymore. Time has a funny way of working. It can decide that a person's time here on earth is up, due to circumstance. Value your time with someone, even if you see them everyday. Find the beauty in the cracks of imperfection in someone, or the colour that the sun makes the sidewalk at 8am. We don't always need to be so literal, and have to understand everything going on in our lives, we don't always have to be completely aware of the changes that makes us grow. Isn't it beautiful, when you get lost in doing something you love, and the time has gone so quickly? We weren't counting down the minutes, waiting for something else, but enjoying what we had at that particular moment, in time.

I see the things that other people wouldn't normally see. I feel everyone's pain, and the things they don't necessarily need to say. Getting older, it's scary but I only have one shot at this life. I've read so many books, seen so many movies, been taught so many things, and I've felt things that I couldn't pinpoint with a particular emotion. Time does that to you. There are certain things in this world that school or a lesson can't tell you. The thing that we don't understand is that there is so much more out there in this world than we could ever even attempt to understand. Someone you never thought existed, you meet and they change your life forever. The things you do and the choices you make, change every bit of your life.

Time with people you love, is precious. Seeing them every day shouldn't change that. Just because we get used to having people around, doesn't mean that they could be here forever. That's why I never intend to leave someone feeling like I don't care, or produce hatefulness towards them, because what if someone that was dear to you, that you hadn't spoken to for a while because of a petty rift in your friendship/relationship with them, and they were to suddenly die? To leave earth's atmosphere with the malice of what you said to them on their mind. What if that was the last thing you said to them?

Even when we take a deep breath as a human, little jagged pieces of life cut into our throat. Problems that we haven't faced, or have to face every day can set our world spinning in a motion that we can't control, makes it hard to stay as a human. Always busy, never not doing something. Life is beautiful. WE don't understand that sometimes. We abuse it constantly everyday, taking for granted that we are here on this earth, present in no matter what body or mindset, we are here. Without understanding the depth of how we live. Certain emotions can cloud our judgement and enforce brutality upon our actions, because we failed to see the bigger picture. Time is this hidden creature. It is what keeps everything from happening at once. In time, something will click within you, it doesn't matter what it is but it will make you want to get up and do something you were meaning to do, intending to do but didn't.

To stop the bickering pain that seeps into you when you want to feel sun-happy, is to merely embrace it. No matter how hard it is to deal with emotional pain, it shapes us and that is how we grow. Loss is always going to be apart of our lives. Just like rain will always fall, or a metal toy left out in the rain will go rusty. No matter how much you don't like the loss of something, or someone, it is going to walk your way at several times in your life. Learn to embrace it and get closure. Time will do this.

"There is never time for anything. If you want it, you must make it."

A dear friend sent me this quote:

 "Try imagine a life without timekeeping. You probably can't. You know the month, the year, the date of the week. There is a clock on your wall or the dashboard of your car. You have a schedule, a calendar, a time for dinner or a movie. Yet all round you, timekeeping is ignored. Birds are not late. A dog does not check its watch. Deer do not fret over passing birthdays.

Man alone measures time.Man alone chimes the hour.And, because of this, man alone suffers a paralyzing fear that no other species does.The fear of time running out."

indy x

Tuesday, 26 August 2014

Rumours & Opinions

Opinion - a view or judgement formed about something, not necessarily based on fact or knowledge.

Rumour - a currently circulating story or report of uncertain or doubtful truth.

Humans talk, don't they? You're walking through a school hallway, going to the next classroom and you hear something you wish you didn't. Someone commenting on your hairstyle, or the funny way you walk - or maybe something they have heard. About you, of course. Who else could it be about? Apparently she said that you said that he has weird clothing. Or that you slept with her ex boyfriend and you just can't do that, right?

Rumours. Opinions. Apparently. Apparent lies. These are all little mutations of the human nature that create fire within society. Things that were never meant to be said, but you only told your best friend because it's only one person, right? Well this is how it goes. We as humans thrive off knowledge, gossip, knowing what is going on - even if it means that someone's rep is in jeopardy or someone could go to jail for doing something wrong, we have to know what is going on. 

It's just human nature, to learn little tidbits of information that others don't want us to know. But dealing with rumours is a different story.

Firstly think about who is spreading the rumour. If you know it isn't true, then there is no point bringing it up into conversation if people aren't talking about this. I have seen this many times before, and basically if you want the rumour to go away think of it as a fungus on your toe... you aren't exactly going to discuss that with people, now are you?

When people say bad things about you, it is normally because they are jealous or are below you. As Taylor Swift taught me, people throw rocks at things that shine. Remember this, people will support you, but they don't want you being better at things than them. Rumours start because people either want to bring you down, or haven't realised what they are doing is hurting you. 

Rumours aren't always from the source, as they get around they become more and more fabricated, and when they get back to you - it's almost like they were never to do with you in the first place, but people added bits and bits to the conversation to either wreck your reputation, or because it's a tricky game of chinese whispers, fun.

Don't believe everything you hear, the less you talk about the rumours, then they will die down. You are above the people wanting to bring you down.

Indy x